"Everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are." ~Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
I love Patrick Rothfuss' books. Still waiting for book three. Hope he's working on it. Loved the post. Keep reminding writers to keep writing. It is so easy to quit.
Beautiful perspective and I appreciate that it's making me think. It does matter. I don't write just to write. I write because I want to make an impact.
Part of the story I know I'm telling myself is that it took so long, so much work, so much energy the first time, I don't know if I have it in me to do it again... and that things have changed, the internet is different now, I'm dealing with different challenges.
I used to have a very popular blog and my name was out there. Life happened and I've started over from zero.
But maybe that's the "real" story I need to think about... maybe I'm not really starting from zero. Maybe it is the story I've written in my head and it's time to rewrite it...
This. This is what I was hoping for. I don't think you are starting from zero. Think of the person who started that first blog. You aren't that person anymore. You know?
I love this piece so much! All we are is our stories, that’s truthfully all that exists in a way. Not read that book, but I’m putting on shoes to walk to my local bookstore as we speak.
Oh you're going to love it, I already know. I loved that book so much. And you're right, we are just our stories. I'm glad you loved this odd little piece :)
Something in my mind just cracked. Thank you. To answer your question - the story I tell myself is that I can write great beginnings, and have great ideas, but don't have any ability to finish or see an end to the story.
I was burned by the traditional publishing world 10 years ago, and I walked away. I am writing more, and I tell myself no one cares what I write. In some weird way, I am attempting to protect myself because of what I went through. If I don’t care what others think, I am fine, but it’s BS. I do care, and there is a vicious cycle. I care about my story, my dad’s story, and if I put it out there and it’s shredded, it would feel like my dad died all over again. I’m working through it one sentence at a time.
I loved this so much Andrea. It's honest and raw and I am so sorry you got burned by the traditional publishing world. You and so many people. I know of a woman who had to take out a second mortgage on her home to buy back the rights of her book because they took it out of print. I think there's a lot of power in saying this matters very much. Ii think it opens some kind of mental floodgate so we can find new paths forward.
What story have you told yourself inside your own head? I'll never get this book published. I will get this book published. How will I get this book published. On repeat. Some days up, some days down. What do I need to do to get this published? I believe in it, then I think it's flaccid.
What questions can’t you answer? Why does it feel worse to get a personal rejection letter than 4 months of silence. It should feel better to be personally rejected - at least they took the time. Sorry, this is a bit of a Friday afternoon crash. I'll yo-yo back up for your next post :-)
It's not a crash at all Lorna. It's just saying how you feel out loud. I'd much rather hear you say this sucks and it hurts than pretend it doesn't matter. You know? Because it does. And so you sit with the pain a bit and then get up and keep going. :)
Thank you! I do. I say to myself - ha! your story (of getting published) is going to be even more motivating to others when they hear how long it took.
I've instantly put those two books you quoted on my "to read" list.
I think my recent story is that how things are now is how things are going to be forever. I'm in a tricky stage in life for various reasons and I find myself catastrophising. It's not healthy.
Omg Ali, I loved those books. The first one most of all, but the second carries through and I'm eager to read the final when it's done at some point hopefully while I am still alive lmao. And yeah, catastrophizing is brutal. I really fight not to go there, too.
I’ve also told myself that it doesn’t matter if anyone reads or likes my writing. I believe this mental story helped me get started and helps me push on when things feel stagnant. I totally get your point and yes, it’d be amazing if thousands or millions of people read my work and commented positively, but at the same time, writing has helped me in so many ways, I know I’ll never stop regardless of whether anyone reads. So it does matter. But it also doesn’t
Shlee, I'm the same. I spent decades despairing -- and resentful, too, frankly. Angry at all those missing readers. When I joined Medium - and just this month, Substack - I made a vow to write simply to write. To trust the Process. That the universe would send those readers meant to read/hear me.
I think that’s such an important mindset to have! Trust the process, keep improving, keep learning, keep showing up because we love it. What more can we do?
It's really good to be aware of both sides of that feeling. Because yeah, we sure can believe contradictory ideas. I suspect writers do that more than almost anyone.
Linda, just a terrific post. Read it twice as a matter of fact. Chock-full of painful truth, insight and smart commentary. I have a confession to make by the way. I wrote a tribute to Twin Peaks and David Lynch yesterday that was far too short and I'm also one of the guilty ones that wrote RIP. I'm glad you pointed that out. Agreed, it's a careless and lazy term, but a sincere one in my case. No excuse, but there it is. I enjoy and connect with your writing. - Jim
Jim you made me laugh. We all do stuff that's kneejerk reaction and don't stop to think about it. I'm glad you liked this. I do like to dig in and think, you know? :)
Yes, digging deep instead of a shallow scoop and listening - really listening - not just waiting to talk again, are two lost arts. And oh yes, I'm very laughable, I assure you. Problem is that half the time it is unintentional! Also, I wanted you to know that the John Kennedy Toole backstory was unknown to me, and it was truly heartbreaking. Even though sad to hear, thanks for sharing it. - Jim
I told myself I had to learn to write great sentences. Then I began working on great stories - and because I was older, I had great stories to tell (I thought). Agents? "Loved the writing but..." Finally I realized I didn't want to die without getting a couple novels out there. And I'm doing it - debut in June. I intend to be the grandma Moses of writing.
I love that, the grandma Moses of writing. But you have some time! The oldest woman published so far had her book published on her 100th birthday. Wow. lol
I love Patrick Rothfuss' books. Still waiting for book three. Hope he's working on it. Loved the post. Keep reminding writers to keep writing. It is so easy to quit.
Me, too. By the time he gets that one done I'm going to have to reread the others just to refresh my memory. Cause it's a little older now. lol
1) The majority of my stories are films told inside my head 2) Many questions. I write in part so I can answer some of them.
Beautiful perspective and I appreciate that it's making me think. It does matter. I don't write just to write. I write because I want to make an impact.
Part of the story I know I'm telling myself is that it took so long, so much work, so much energy the first time, I don't know if I have it in me to do it again... and that things have changed, the internet is different now, I'm dealing with different challenges.
I used to have a very popular blog and my name was out there. Life happened and I've started over from zero.
But maybe that's the "real" story I need to think about... maybe I'm not really starting from zero. Maybe it is the story I've written in my head and it's time to rewrite it...
This. This is what I was hoping for. I don't think you are starting from zero. Think of the person who started that first blog. You aren't that person anymore. You know?
I love this piece so much! All we are is our stories, that’s truthfully all that exists in a way. Not read that book, but I’m putting on shoes to walk to my local bookstore as we speak.
Oh you're going to love it, I already know. I loved that book so much. And you're right, we are just our stories. I'm glad you loved this odd little piece :)
New book on the nightstand! (#tsundoku is a bit of a prob for me tho I must admit 🫣)
Something in my mind just cracked. Thank you. To answer your question - the story I tell myself is that I can write great beginnings, and have great ideas, but don't have any ability to finish or see an end to the story.
You're so welcome. I have done battle with that one, too. But seeing it really helps.
Plot the story before writing it.
I was burned by the traditional publishing world 10 years ago, and I walked away. I am writing more, and I tell myself no one cares what I write. In some weird way, I am attempting to protect myself because of what I went through. If I don’t care what others think, I am fine, but it’s BS. I do care, and there is a vicious cycle. I care about my story, my dad’s story, and if I put it out there and it’s shredded, it would feel like my dad died all over again. I’m working through it one sentence at a time.
I loved this so much Andrea. It's honest and raw and I am so sorry you got burned by the traditional publishing world. You and so many people. I know of a woman who had to take out a second mortgage on her home to buy back the rights of her book because they took it out of print. I think there's a lot of power in saying this matters very much. Ii think it opens some kind of mental floodgate so we can find new paths forward.
Wow. It's awful that she had to do that. I tried as well to get my book back, but it was a no-go.
Sometimes you read what you need in that moment, if you just keep scrolling along.
Thank you for this post.
What story have you told yourself inside your own head? I'll never get this book published. I will get this book published. How will I get this book published. On repeat. Some days up, some days down. What do I need to do to get this published? I believe in it, then I think it's flaccid.
What questions can’t you answer? Why does it feel worse to get a personal rejection letter than 4 months of silence. It should feel better to be personally rejected - at least they took the time. Sorry, this is a bit of a Friday afternoon crash. I'll yo-yo back up for your next post :-)
It's not a crash at all Lorna. It's just saying how you feel out loud. I'd much rather hear you say this sucks and it hurts than pretend it doesn't matter. You know? Because it does. And so you sit with the pain a bit and then get up and keep going. :)
Thank you! I do. I say to myself - ha! your story (of getting published) is going to be even more motivating to others when they hear how long it took.
I've instantly put those two books you quoted on my "to read" list.
I think my recent story is that how things are now is how things are going to be forever. I'm in a tricky stage in life for various reasons and I find myself catastrophising. It's not healthy.
Omg Ali, I loved those books. The first one most of all, but the second carries through and I'm eager to read the final when it's done at some point hopefully while I am still alive lmao. And yeah, catastrophizing is brutal. I really fight not to go there, too.
I’ve also told myself that it doesn’t matter if anyone reads or likes my writing. I believe this mental story helped me get started and helps me push on when things feel stagnant. I totally get your point and yes, it’d be amazing if thousands or millions of people read my work and commented positively, but at the same time, writing has helped me in so many ways, I know I’ll never stop regardless of whether anyone reads. So it does matter. But it also doesn’t
Shlee, I'm the same. I spent decades despairing -- and resentful, too, frankly. Angry at all those missing readers. When I joined Medium - and just this month, Substack - I made a vow to write simply to write. To trust the Process. That the universe would send those readers meant to read/hear me.
I think that’s such an important mindset to have! Trust the process, keep improving, keep learning, keep showing up because we love it. What more can we do?
It's really good to be aware of both sides of that feeling. Because yeah, we sure can believe contradictory ideas. I suspect writers do that more than almost anyone.
I think you’re right, Linda!
Wow. I’m going to have to process this. So good.
Thanks, Kristen.
Linda, just a terrific post. Read it twice as a matter of fact. Chock-full of painful truth, insight and smart commentary. I have a confession to make by the way. I wrote a tribute to Twin Peaks and David Lynch yesterday that was far too short and I'm also one of the guilty ones that wrote RIP. I'm glad you pointed that out. Agreed, it's a careless and lazy term, but a sincere one in my case. No excuse, but there it is. I enjoy and connect with your writing. - Jim
Jim you made me laugh. We all do stuff that's kneejerk reaction and don't stop to think about it. I'm glad you liked this. I do like to dig in and think, you know? :)
Yes, digging deep instead of a shallow scoop and listening - really listening - not just waiting to talk again, are two lost arts. And oh yes, I'm very laughable, I assure you. Problem is that half the time it is unintentional! Also, I wanted you to know that the John Kennedy Toole backstory was unknown to me, and it was truly heartbreaking. Even though sad to hear, thanks for sharing it. - Jim
This was GREAT. Thank you.
Thank you Marianna :)
I told myself I had to learn to write great sentences. Then I began working on great stories - and because I was older, I had great stories to tell (I thought). Agents? "Loved the writing but..." Finally I realized I didn't want to die without getting a couple novels out there. And I'm doing it - debut in June. I intend to be the grandma Moses of writing.
I love that, the grandma Moses of writing. But you have some time! The oldest woman published so far had her book published on her 100th birthday. Wow. lol
Aim high I always say - WOW.
This is so inspiring, Linda. Thank you. I am (or was!) unaware of Patrick Rothfuss - kindle here I come! xox
Oh, if you get it, you have to come back and tell me what you think. The Name of the Wind is such a good book. So good.
Wonderful post and inspiring. Thanks
I'm glad you enjoyed, thanks! :)