Linda, your thoughts and generosity always inspire me to keep pressing on with my writing. Your pub invitation got me thinking about my grandmother, born in 1899, who grew up on a farm. Her sense of humor and kindness left an indelible mark on my life. She didn't do anything to earn awards or fame, but she lived a full life (one month short of 100), giving her best every day.
Thanks, Kathryn, that first sentence means a lot coming from you. When I started the pub, I was thinking of my grandmother, too. When grandfather died, she had 7 kids to raise by herself on the farm. In an era where she couldn't have a bank account and needed to take her eldest son to deal with money for her. Women like our grandmothers deserve to have their stories shared, too. I hope you'll write it and join me.
Nice article, Linda and thanks for the invitation to write for your pub! I've temporarily lost my drive to write for Medium☹ The views I get and money earned doesn't justify the work I put into each article. Although, I've had a couple of articles curated, I've never seen tons of views or $$ since I started in mid 2020. I'm questioning whether I'm as good of a writer that I thought I was. My food-related articles seem to fair well, not a lot, but better than the others.
Patricia, I feel you! I've felt the same way lots of times. I've even stopped writing for as long as 10 months, once. But I always come back. I guess it just calls me. Two things started to work for me -- I wrote some book reviews that did pretty well. And I really doubled down on learning to write strong titles. Man, that has been a struggle. But eventually it started to pay off. If you ever change your mind, the offer stands! :)
I REALLY wanted to highlight the "My boyfriend is a narcissist" part. It made me laugh. I hate any title with that word in it.
I understand the going viral in an unknown pub thing. A long time ago, an old pen name of mine had that happen. Published in a personal publication and flew off the charts for a month. The story earned me over $1200 in a month. It can happen.
I just don't know how to make that happen anymore.
lol on the first paragraph, Kristi. Right? There be crappy people in both genders. I just had one do the same over Dec/Jan and is almost at $2500 and still going. Not in a big pub, either. Not a new pub, but a small one. Other than that one, my big hitters tend to run around $500-$700. I'd like to figure out how to push that up some. If I'm going to be obsessed with writing, might as well figure out how to make it pay.
I swear, I have made ALL the mistakes that can be made. Been on Medium forever. Like since before the partner program even existed. But I didn't get serious until maybe a year ago. A year ago I still only had 5K readers because I was so sporadic. I'd disappear for months at a time. Most of my growth there has been in the last year. Trying to figure this thing out. Kind of wish I'd hear back from Newsbreak, too. So far, still nothing.
Baby grandma was disabled and strung out on pain meds. Baby mama was an alcoholic/ poly drug abuser. They were codependently a better parent than me. I had no support network. 10 years later, I moved 300 miles away. 2 years after that, they lost my kids to C.P.S. for the formentioned reasons. 1 year and $15,000 later, the kids were mine. I've had them for 2 years.
One last dyad before I get to the point. My only other girlfriend in that time period was in the last 3 years of that story. She helped me more than anyone and she was really controlling. She and her mother were a functional version of baby mama and baby grandma.
Like I said, I'm an angry buddhist. I went from ultra masculine to moderately feminine and back to the middle. Consciously yen and yang. Balanced. No gender roles. I preach the same to my boys.
Psychologist's have catch phrases like depression, bipolar, ADHD, and PTSD. Armchair psychologist's use these phrases to justify their own actions and destroy accountability. The catch phrase, toxic masculinity, is used in the same manner. Inappropriately. How can I teach my boys that toxic masculinity is a real problem and toxic femininity is fake? I've seen it. It's an imbalance of social hormones either way.
It's the same argument as banning Trump from Twitter. I think he's a total d-bag and I agree with banning him but you are opening up a slippery slope to ban whomever you disagree with. You like statistics. Look up the statistics of single mothers and delinquency.
My 13 year old son told me that he was headed to a dark, depressed place living with his mom. Going to foster care was a "miracle" for him. No one is innocent
"We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need", Tyler Durden.
Hey Michael. What stands out to me most is the quote you ended with. Tyler Durden is a character that plays a very disturbed young man. That aside, we are not really a generation of men raised by women. We are a generation of children raised by women who live in a patriarchy. "Messed up" isn't a gender. If anything, it's a result of the culture we live in.
Are you familiar with the work of Pete Walker? He believes that if all diagnoses that stem from childhood trauma were removed from the DSM, it would be a pamphlet, not a tome. His book "Complex PTSD" is one of the best I've read on overcoming problems that have their roots in our upbringing.
Glad you have your boys. I'd highly recommend the book. I think you'll like it. Wish I'd had it when my child was younger.
Fight Club is a satire on gender roles in our modern capitalistic society. Jack is Tyler and Marla. 100 years ago our children would be at work in a factory or a field. I'm not raising children, I'm raising men. I'm raising adults.
Personally, I think the DSM should be burned with all the other religious books. But that's just me. I think for myself and I question authority. Have you heard of Dr. Mark Gordon and his research on T.B.I.? He works with veterans. He says P.T.S.D. is rarely the cause and that therapy and medication is almost completely ineffective. Zinc, quercetin, vitamin D, and hormone levels.
Linda, I'm a college educated Marine (psychology and infantry) that has never been to combat. I excelled at both. I won't fight for spoiled rotten entitled people. Psychology is a false idol. I'm not religious. My personality... Angry Buddhist.
If I identify with anything, it's being a single dad (~5% of the population). I was raised by a single mom (~25% of the population) from 5 til 10. Then I was raised by my stepdad and mom(~70%)
On the surface he was a pillar of the community. Under the surface he was a two faced bigot and a neighbor's cat killing sociopath. Raised on John Wayne and Clint eastwood. The definition of toxic.
Mom stayed with him and I don't talk to her anymore. I don't want my boys to know him. She never hugged me nor told me that she loved me. Boo hoo. I don't want my boys to know her either. I gave up my entitlements over it. I struggled because of it. I'm way better off for it.
Baby grandma and baby great grandma both got pregnant at the same time. Both fled the scene together and raised their daughters in safety together. I'm not sure of the details but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with some abusive man or men.
So there I was, living with baby mama, baby grandma, and baby great grandma. Walking in the shadows of all the great men that came before me. At 27, I found myself in a matriarchy. I felt as if I had been abused by my fair share of bosses and father figures...
when you're ready for poems sharing a woman's history (say, a poem paying tribute to Mary Shelley), let me know! :)
That sounds amazing. I added you as a writer and can't wait to see what you come up with.
Linda, your thoughts and generosity always inspire me to keep pressing on with my writing. Your pub invitation got me thinking about my grandmother, born in 1899, who grew up on a farm. Her sense of humor and kindness left an indelible mark on my life. She didn't do anything to earn awards or fame, but she lived a full life (one month short of 100), giving her best every day.
With much gratitude...
Thanks, Kathryn, that first sentence means a lot coming from you. When I started the pub, I was thinking of my grandmother, too. When grandfather died, she had 7 kids to raise by herself on the farm. In an era where she couldn't have a bank account and needed to take her eldest son to deal with money for her. Women like our grandmothers deserve to have their stories shared, too. I hope you'll write it and join me.
Nice article, Linda and thanks for the invitation to write for your pub! I've temporarily lost my drive to write for Medium☹ The views I get and money earned doesn't justify the work I put into each article. Although, I've had a couple of articles curated, I've never seen tons of views or $$ since I started in mid 2020. I'm questioning whether I'm as good of a writer that I thought I was. My food-related articles seem to fair well, not a lot, but better than the others.
Patricia, I feel you! I've felt the same way lots of times. I've even stopped writing for as long as 10 months, once. But I always come back. I guess it just calls me. Two things started to work for me -- I wrote some book reviews that did pretty well. And I really doubled down on learning to write strong titles. Man, that has been a struggle. But eventually it started to pay off. If you ever change your mind, the offer stands! :)
I REALLY wanted to highlight the "My boyfriend is a narcissist" part. It made me laugh. I hate any title with that word in it.
I understand the going viral in an unknown pub thing. A long time ago, an old pen name of mine had that happen. Published in a personal publication and flew off the charts for a month. The story earned me over $1200 in a month. It can happen.
I just don't know how to make that happen anymore.
lol on the first paragraph, Kristi. Right? There be crappy people in both genders. I just had one do the same over Dec/Jan and is almost at $2500 and still going. Not in a big pub, either. Not a new pub, but a small one. Other than that one, my big hitters tend to run around $500-$700. I'd like to figure out how to push that up some. If I'm going to be obsessed with writing, might as well figure out how to make it pay.
I swear, I have made ALL the mistakes that can be made. Been on Medium forever. Like since before the partner program even existed. But I didn't get serious until maybe a year ago. A year ago I still only had 5K readers because I was so sporadic. I'd disappear for months at a time. Most of my growth there has been in the last year. Trying to figure this thing out. Kind of wish I'd hear back from Newsbreak, too. So far, still nothing.
NB is a different beast altogether. Only my location specific travel stories do really well there. And racism lol.
But right now I'm earning billions more compared to Medium over there.
lol. For the very reasons you said, I suspect my feminist posts might do well there.
Baby grandma was disabled and strung out on pain meds. Baby mama was an alcoholic/ poly drug abuser. They were codependently a better parent than me. I had no support network. 10 years later, I moved 300 miles away. 2 years after that, they lost my kids to C.P.S. for the formentioned reasons. 1 year and $15,000 later, the kids were mine. I've had them for 2 years.
One last dyad before I get to the point. My only other girlfriend in that time period was in the last 3 years of that story. She helped me more than anyone and she was really controlling. She and her mother were a functional version of baby mama and baby grandma.
Like I said, I'm an angry buddhist. I went from ultra masculine to moderately feminine and back to the middle. Consciously yen and yang. Balanced. No gender roles. I preach the same to my boys.
Psychologist's have catch phrases like depression, bipolar, ADHD, and PTSD. Armchair psychologist's use these phrases to justify their own actions and destroy accountability. The catch phrase, toxic masculinity, is used in the same manner. Inappropriately. How can I teach my boys that toxic masculinity is a real problem and toxic femininity is fake? I've seen it. It's an imbalance of social hormones either way.
It's the same argument as banning Trump from Twitter. I think he's a total d-bag and I agree with banning him but you are opening up a slippery slope to ban whomever you disagree with. You like statistics. Look up the statistics of single mothers and delinquency.
My 13 year old son told me that he was headed to a dark, depressed place living with his mom. Going to foster care was a "miracle" for him. No one is innocent
"We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need", Tyler Durden.
Hey Michael. What stands out to me most is the quote you ended with. Tyler Durden is a character that plays a very disturbed young man. That aside, we are not really a generation of men raised by women. We are a generation of children raised by women who live in a patriarchy. "Messed up" isn't a gender. If anything, it's a result of the culture we live in.
Are you familiar with the work of Pete Walker? He believes that if all diagnoses that stem from childhood trauma were removed from the DSM, it would be a pamphlet, not a tome. His book "Complex PTSD" is one of the best I've read on overcoming problems that have their roots in our upbringing.
Glad you have your boys. I'd highly recommend the book. I think you'll like it. Wish I'd had it when my child was younger.
Fight Club is a satire on gender roles in our modern capitalistic society. Jack is Tyler and Marla. 100 years ago our children would be at work in a factory or a field. I'm not raising children, I'm raising men. I'm raising adults.
Personally, I think the DSM should be burned with all the other religious books. But that's just me. I think for myself and I question authority. Have you heard of Dr. Mark Gordon and his research on T.B.I.? He works with veterans. He says P.T.S.D. is rarely the cause and that therapy and medication is almost completely ineffective. Zinc, quercetin, vitamin D, and hormone levels.
Linda, I'm a college educated Marine (psychology and infantry) that has never been to combat. I excelled at both. I won't fight for spoiled rotten entitled people. Psychology is a false idol. I'm not religious. My personality... Angry Buddhist.
If I identify with anything, it's being a single dad (~5% of the population). I was raised by a single mom (~25% of the population) from 5 til 10. Then I was raised by my stepdad and mom(~70%)
On the surface he was a pillar of the community. Under the surface he was a two faced bigot and a neighbor's cat killing sociopath. Raised on John Wayne and Clint eastwood. The definition of toxic.
Mom stayed with him and I don't talk to her anymore. I don't want my boys to know him. She never hugged me nor told me that she loved me. Boo hoo. I don't want my boys to know her either. I gave up my entitlements over it. I struggled because of it. I'm way better off for it.
Baby grandma and baby great grandma both got pregnant at the same time. Both fled the scene together and raised their daughters in safety together. I'm not sure of the details but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with some abusive man or men.
So there I was, living with baby mama, baby grandma, and baby great grandma. Walking in the shadows of all the great men that came before me. At 27, I found myself in a matriarchy. I felt as if I had been abused by my fair share of bosses and father figures...