I think it's important to stay loose, but that's easier said that done. When the stakes get high, it's natural to tighten up and push too hard. Striving for perfection... that thought hasn't even crossed my mind in years. You're right, there is no such thing as perfect. There doesn't even need to be.
Yup, loose is easier said than done. That's what I edit for. My first draft is usually way too terse. It's because I'm wound tight as it gets trying to get it all out. Then I go back and rewrite it more conversational. Looser. Funny thing is, having been in BNP for 14 months now, what really excites me isn't perfect. It's different. Someone who strings words in a way I haven't seen before. To me that's far more exciting than any perception of perfection.
What’s BNP? My early writing teacher was Nat Goldberg - the best. She encouraged “just keep writing” - like A LOT. I’ve filled so many journals. Then I ended up teaching writing at a community college in Denver. Best “job” I ever had! And I taught my “kids” how to journal - and keep it private as you’re developing your very own voice. I learned so much from THEM!
Hey Dana - BNP is Medium's Boost Nomination Program. I'd love to hear more about teaching writing. And you're right, I found that everything I ever taught, I always learned just as much as I taught if not more.
Right! I visited with one of my fave students just this morning. He’s a gifted writer which I recognized right away. I’ve been encouraging him all these years. DACA recipient, finally got his green card. It’s a great connection
This one struck a chord. I think the best and most challenging thing about writing and publishing online is understanding that once you hit ‘publish’ it’s out of your hands. Done, in other words. Then you move on. And if you can’t do this you have a problem being a pro. Professionals finish things. My work is topical, which means it is time sensitive. I can’t obsess about details but that does not mean I publish slop. It means I had to get better, faster. Perfectionism is not getting better, it’s getting obsessive. You have to find balance.
I love that perspective Martin, that perfectionism isn't about getting better, it's about obsessing. Nothing like time sensitive content to make us find that balance between slop and slow, that's for sure.
I rarely mention that I write - simply because my culture is not open to women writing on the topics I do - blogging about gardening or cooking is acceptable but not about relationships and dating - Anyways, if I were to mention it, the next question will always be how much I make (eye roll).
I give my best feeling in my writing - that is the only way I can describe it.
For many years I was doing the job people called being a housewife. I hated the question: “ So what do you do?”
Why?
Because I wasn’t married to a house.
Because I wasn’t a stay-at-home Mom, I was always on the move, mostly coming and going.
Because I was also a teacher, who tutored students from elementary to university.
Because I was a writer and an artist, who loved to create quilt art
Because I was part of a farming business as well
Because I trained and became a real estate agent
Because I tutored part time at Sylvan Learning Centre.
Because I served as Secretary on our Minor Hockey Association
Because I was chair of our School Council for two years
Because for a time I painted and created back drops for my daughter’s dance class recital
And
Because if I didn’t have a catchy title but said “I spend most of my time raising my kids.”One man went so primate, that he stretched scratched his balls and replied,
“Oh yeah. It must be tough…”
My reply.
“You wouldn’t last a minute.”
I’m not a perfectionist, I just do the work until it has a honed edge.
When I call myself a perfectionist as a writer on Medium, it's a humblebrag. Like, I'm reading Ulysses for the third time, and I still can't understand it, or I can't stop trying to improve a piece because I want it to be the best it can be. I want the boost - I'm desperate for the boost. I tell myself all those things and more, but the real reason is that I am afraid to put my articles out in public unless they're perfect (which they will never be). That fear kept me from writing for years, and I've finally conquered it. I cared way too much (feared) what people thought about me. But remnants of that fear remain, and I call it perfectionism. Fear disguised as perfectionism is a biggie for me - I should write about it. Wait. I just did.
Your use of the Hemingway quote finally put everything I was obsessing about in to perspective. I was spending my time worrying, not writing - Thank You!
Great points. I suspect there are other words we could substitute for "perfectionist" as used by writers. An obvious one is "procrastinator" but I'm sure there are others.
I think perfectionism is a cop-out. It's saying you can never get it right before someone else says it for you. It's a defense tactic to save face . It's also a great excuse for not accomplishing anything.
I'm not a perfectionist but I usually know when a piece of prose can be better. Poetry...perfectionsim...that's where I'm hardest on myself. Thanks for reminding us there is no perfect. We all do the best we can.
Yup, I agree with that Marilyn. I know when my writing can be better too. I find that often time is a good substitute for obsession. Just set it aside a while. Let it sit a few days and when I come back I can usually see what's wrong with it much faster.
There is no such thing as perfection in anything. "Perfectionism" is a recipe for unhappiness. Dissatisfaction. Because one will always fall short. The trick is to recognize what is "good enough" (as the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott said about mothering). That any effort beyond "good enough" brings diminishing returns. Then one can at least have some satisfaction, some sense of accomplishment. Even if it's not "perfect."
I think it's important to stay loose, but that's easier said that done. When the stakes get high, it's natural to tighten up and push too hard. Striving for perfection... that thought hasn't even crossed my mind in years. You're right, there is no such thing as perfect. There doesn't even need to be.
Yup, loose is easier said than done. That's what I edit for. My first draft is usually way too terse. It's because I'm wound tight as it gets trying to get it all out. Then I go back and rewrite it more conversational. Looser. Funny thing is, having been in BNP for 14 months now, what really excites me isn't perfect. It's different. Someone who strings words in a way I haven't seen before. To me that's far more exciting than any perception of perfection.
That's a nice thought. It's good to be encouraged to try new things!
What’s BNP? My early writing teacher was Nat Goldberg - the best. She encouraged “just keep writing” - like A LOT. I’ve filled so many journals. Then I ended up teaching writing at a community college in Denver. Best “job” I ever had! And I taught my “kids” how to journal - and keep it private as you’re developing your very own voice. I learned so much from THEM!
Hey Dana - BNP is Medium's Boost Nomination Program. I'd love to hear more about teaching writing. And you're right, I found that everything I ever taught, I always learned just as much as I taught if not more.
Right! I visited with one of my fave students just this morning. He’s a gifted writer which I recognized right away. I’ve been encouraging him all these years. DACA recipient, finally got his green card. It’s a great connection
There’s the story, and there’s the words you use to tell it and they are not the same.
That's profound, Linda, and pretty much the problem we all face.
Thanks Tom. And you're dead on. That's the problem we all face.
Perfection? It’s all about heart and how well you can sling words around!
This one struck a chord. I think the best and most challenging thing about writing and publishing online is understanding that once you hit ‘publish’ it’s out of your hands. Done, in other words. Then you move on. And if you can’t do this you have a problem being a pro. Professionals finish things. My work is topical, which means it is time sensitive. I can’t obsess about details but that does not mean I publish slop. It means I had to get better, faster. Perfectionism is not getting better, it’s getting obsessive. You have to find balance.
I love that perspective Martin, that perfectionism isn't about getting better, it's about obsessing. Nothing like time sensitive content to make us find that balance between slop and slow, that's for sure.
I rarely mention that I write - simply because my culture is not open to women writing on the topics I do - blogging about gardening or cooking is acceptable but not about relationships and dating - Anyways, if I were to mention it, the next question will always be how much I make (eye roll).
I give my best feeling in my writing - that is the only way I can describe it.
For many years I was doing the job people called being a housewife. I hated the question: “ So what do you do?”
Why?
Because I wasn’t married to a house.
Because I wasn’t a stay-at-home Mom, I was always on the move, mostly coming and going.
Because I was also a teacher, who tutored students from elementary to university.
Because I was a writer and an artist, who loved to create quilt art
Because I was part of a farming business as well
Because I trained and became a real estate agent
Because I tutored part time at Sylvan Learning Centre.
Because I served as Secretary on our Minor Hockey Association
Because I was chair of our School Council for two years
Because for a time I painted and created back drops for my daughter’s dance class recital
And
Because if I didn’t have a catchy title but said “I spend most of my time raising my kids.”One man went so primate, that he stretched scratched his balls and replied,
“Oh yeah. It must be tough…”
My reply.
“You wouldn’t last a minute.”
I’m not a perfectionist, I just do the work until it has a honed edge.
I love your last sentence. That's the key. Sharpen the knife.
You: I say I leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Loving this. I have been replying with a Pinky and the Brain mantra: planning and scheming to take over the world!
Is there any other way? lol
Nope, because, ya gotta leap tall buildings in a single bound AS you plot and scheme to take over the world!🙄😄🥰
Yikes. I wrote this comment already but it vanished…I think.
You wrote: “And I think maybe you need to find the words to explain the struggle without the shorthand of the word perfectionist.”
This is the best damn advice. Hit a nerve it did. Weekend project for me.🙏
I am a perfectionist: which is why don't publish just any old garbage here.
When I call myself a perfectionist as a writer on Medium, it's a humblebrag. Like, I'm reading Ulysses for the third time, and I still can't understand it, or I can't stop trying to improve a piece because I want it to be the best it can be. I want the boost - I'm desperate for the boost. I tell myself all those things and more, but the real reason is that I am afraid to put my articles out in public unless they're perfect (which they will never be). That fear kept me from writing for years, and I've finally conquered it. I cared way too much (feared) what people thought about me. But remnants of that fear remain, and I call it perfectionism. Fear disguised as perfectionism is a biggie for me - I should write about it. Wait. I just did.
Your use of the Hemingway quote finally put everything I was obsessing about in to perspective. I was spending my time worrying, not writing - Thank You!
You are very welcome. I found it put things into perspective for me, too.
Great points. I suspect there are other words we could substitute for "perfectionist" as used by writers. An obvious one is "procrastinator" but I'm sure there are others.
lol Jan. It's the same question, sort of. Dig into the why, see what we learn.
I think perfectionism is a cop-out. It's saying you can never get it right before someone else says it for you. It's a defense tactic to save face . It's also a great excuse for not accomplishing anything.
I love that. So much. I think you're onto something there about the defense tactic to save face.
Ask me how I know, Linda. lol
I'm not a perfectionist but I usually know when a piece of prose can be better. Poetry...perfectionsim...that's where I'm hardest on myself. Thanks for reminding us there is no perfect. We all do the best we can.
Yup, I agree with that Marilyn. I know when my writing can be better too. I find that often time is a good substitute for obsession. Just set it aside a while. Let it sit a few days and when I come back I can usually see what's wrong with it much faster.
There is no perfect in writing.
There is no such thing as perfection in anything. "Perfectionism" is a recipe for unhappiness. Dissatisfaction. Because one will always fall short. The trick is to recognize what is "good enough" (as the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott said about mothering). That any effort beyond "good enough" brings diminishing returns. Then one can at least have some satisfaction, some sense of accomplishment. Even if it's not "perfect."
I like that a lot, Patricia
Oh yes. And there's a big difference between commitment to excellence and perfectionism.