Jul 28, 2023·edited Jul 28, 2023Liked by Linda Caroll
ok, full disclosure: when i saw your subject line in my inbox i was turned off by the "weird thing..." because it feels like clickbait, and i automatically assumed it wouldn't be worth reading if it needed to rely on a click-baity subject heading.
i was wrong.
what you wrote spoke deeply to what i've felt for *years*.
i will know i have gold in my hands.
and then, i try to stuff it into my pen,
and all i end up with is pyrite at best.
i've so often started writing advice and found myself thinking, "who the f*** am i to be giving advice?" but it seems like that's what people are interested in.
but this article/post of yours has helped me understand all of it better.
Hey Joe -- what a great comment. I ask myself that same question. Who the F** am I to give anyone advice? Unless they ask, then sure. Next time I'll use a different word instead of weird.
P.S. I can relate to the pyrite. I call those drafts. lol. For me, writing is a two step process. First I do the draft. Then I ignore it for a good week. Maybe two. Then I come back and look with fresh eyes and I can usually see what it's trying to be. The longer I let it sit, the easier it is to see what the heart of the piece really is. Then I rearrange and edit. :)
OMG, this. It really feels like people want the advice! But it's that little tweak that what they really want is to feel your perspective. Maybe because they feel alone and you're speaking their language, maybe because they're finally addressing traumas that your experiences are helping them heal. Maybe they want to be angry and want to judge! People read for so many reasons, but when they learn I don't think it's from us trying to condense our experience into a lesson. It's from us expressing our experience so completely they can't help but live it vicariously through the writing.
I think. I mean, I'm making the same mistakes so I could be wrong. But that's what I'm feeling lately, and it's shifting my whole perspective on writing. I hope we both find our way to preserving the gold to deliver that to the world!
I love this so much. It's like you're describing what I've been thinking and feeling. I love when that happens. It's like an amazing synchronicity because words are so damn imperfect and yet the feeling -- that came through clear as a bell. :)
That sounds like what I've historically done. Well, not with everything I've written, but with enough. But you're very right. I'm learning that it's the experience that's important, not the lesson. WE can learn a lesson for ourselves, and it can be part of the experience, but it doesn't have to be the lesson everyone takes away from that experience. Sometimes people disagree with your conclusion; that's part of good stories, too.
On that note, I have a story of mine I'd like to selfishly nominate, but it hasn't been published yet. I'm waiting on a small publication to accept me as a writer first, so it probably won't be published until next month anyway. Would it be ok when it does publish for me to give you a link to it? Honestly, even without the boost, I would really appreciate if you'd look it over and tell me how I did. I've still been trying to learn from your writing (but with my voice and tones) to improve, and feel like this one... This one in particular seems a bit like I've leveled up in a way. I think.
Since it's not published yet, all I've got is the draft so I guess I'm just wondering if there will be another of these articles where you leave space for people to nominate articles in the future? Or if there's a place I can send you the link? If not, I understand- I feel a bit weird asking this, so it might be a strange thing to say to begin with. 😅
This whole comment just makes me smile. First, yes I will from time to time repeat the same and leave space for suggestions. But -- you can also send me the draft while you wait to hear back if you want feedback. If you still have the email from Substack, it's set up so if you reply, it will come to me. So feel welcome to email me the draft and I'd be happy to give it a read.
Funny little story. I was also an advice giver for a long time. Advice and history were the corners I lived in. When I wrote my first personal essay I was so nervous. And it wasn't very long ago. So I totally get that when our style morphs and grows as is inevitable, it leaves us a bit delicate. :)
I tried to reply in the email, and it said it didn't go through and told me to comment on the website. I can do a private message on one of your current stories on Medium- not sure if that's preferable, but it's an option. Or, you can email me at theaccidentalmonster@gmail.com- which might be less preferable, since then it exposes YOUR email. On the other hand, I've created a Discord I'm trying to get people to join that makes stuff like this waaay easier (but it's another platform entirely). 🤔
That's really nice that you do that. I haven't been writing on Medium lately. My last decent effort was probably back in Jan (not boosted and earned a whopping $14, lol--Can't live off that!). I've just been republishing my Substack blogs and magazine articles occasionally. If I see a great story I'll let you know!
I can't agree with you more - it does feel like we are drowning in advice - do this do that - one size fits all solutions - if it were so, life would be less complicated
I look for stories over coffee as well (great minds think alike!), and while I have a handful of go-to authors, it always feels extra special to find someone new that rearranges my mind. Like, where have they been hiding?!
Sometimes I think if I got on the internet and pretended to be a guy, I'd be you. lol. I keep a list of new faces I find so I can go back and check their new work. At least a small handful of writers must be wondering who the hell keeps boosting their posts. lol. Me!
The starfish story is good. I've seen it before. Nice application to boosting writers. My friend Jill Ebstein, whom I think you know, has appreciated having a couple of her stories boosted, most recently one about her mother. She greatly appreciated that. You may have done the selecting.
I have found Substack to be a great way to find new Medium writers. When people comment here, I go look to see if they're on Medium too. And you're right, I do know Jill. But I never tell who I nominate, because then it gets to be a surprise. :)
That's good advice - not to give advice, Linda. I think not giving advice is good advice for life, as well as writing. If someone wants advice and asks for it, I will share my experience that may relate and let them figure out if and how to apply it.
I saw a quote on a plaque outside our local library that said "I want to read a book where the main character falls in love with the reader." I thought to myself: Yes! that's the book/story I want to write. I think it happens when the writer falls in love with the main character (or the message of the story.) . . . I love your metaphor of "Rumpelstiltskin in reverse." It made me want to read your story, as did the title.
Yes, it's fantastic to pick up a starfish and toss it back into the ocean. :) It matters to every starfish indeed. Recently, I've been especially enjoying Jillian Spiridion's stories, both fiction and nonfiction. I just read this piece yesterday and loved it! https://medium.com/the-roads-not-taken-opinion-pieces-from-jillian/opinion-why-does-the-world-weaponize-young-men-17a7b7d3ecf5
Thanks Sieran, I'll have a look. How awesome to have so many new faces to discover! :)
Yay! Hope you'll enjoy Jillian's work as much as I do. :)
ok, full disclosure: when i saw your subject line in my inbox i was turned off by the "weird thing..." because it feels like clickbait, and i automatically assumed it wouldn't be worth reading if it needed to rely on a click-baity subject heading.
i was wrong.
what you wrote spoke deeply to what i've felt for *years*.
i will know i have gold in my hands.
and then, i try to stuff it into my pen,
and all i end up with is pyrite at best.
i've so often started writing advice and found myself thinking, "who the f*** am i to be giving advice?" but it seems like that's what people are interested in.
but this article/post of yours has helped me understand all of it better.
and i absolutely loved the example you gave.
so, thank you, sincerely.
Hey Joe -- what a great comment. I ask myself that same question. Who the F** am I to give anyone advice? Unless they ask, then sure. Next time I'll use a different word instead of weird.
P.S. I can relate to the pyrite. I call those drafts. lol. For me, writing is a two step process. First I do the draft. Then I ignore it for a good week. Maybe two. Then I come back and look with fresh eyes and I can usually see what it's trying to be. The longer I let it sit, the easier it is to see what the heart of the piece really is. Then I rearrange and edit. :)
And you're very welcome. :)
OMG, this. It really feels like people want the advice! But it's that little tweak that what they really want is to feel your perspective. Maybe because they feel alone and you're speaking their language, maybe because they're finally addressing traumas that your experiences are helping them heal. Maybe they want to be angry and want to judge! People read for so many reasons, but when they learn I don't think it's from us trying to condense our experience into a lesson. It's from us expressing our experience so completely they can't help but live it vicariously through the writing.
I think. I mean, I'm making the same mistakes so I could be wrong. But that's what I'm feeling lately, and it's shifting my whole perspective on writing. I hope we both find our way to preserving the gold to deliver that to the world!
I love this so much. It's like you're describing what I've been thinking and feeling. I love when that happens. It's like an amazing synchronicity because words are so damn imperfect and yet the feeling -- that came through clear as a bell. :)
Hi - I'm @cmaymoretale on medium - this is my publication substack account :-) - i am now following you...
A story worthy of boosting:
I like and learn from everything this woman - @rlromanelli - writes, but have chosen one in particular.
Cheers :-)
https://medium.com/illumination-curated/a-bowl-of-chili-and-a-cinnamon-roll-opened-my-eight-year-old-eyes-78443ddf0418
Thanks! I will go have a read. :)
Good one 👌
This story by Raine Lore is great:
https://medium.com/the-pub/bad-moon-rising-c1b390243c4c
Thanks, I will check it out. :)
Linda is their a good email for you? I want to ask you something...
Hey Ayo. Sure, you can email me at ********. Let me know when you see this so I can remove before bots grab it. lol
Got it!
Thanks! :)
That sounds like what I've historically done. Well, not with everything I've written, but with enough. But you're very right. I'm learning that it's the experience that's important, not the lesson. WE can learn a lesson for ourselves, and it can be part of the experience, but it doesn't have to be the lesson everyone takes away from that experience. Sometimes people disagree with your conclusion; that's part of good stories, too.
On that note, I have a story of mine I'd like to selfishly nominate, but it hasn't been published yet. I'm waiting on a small publication to accept me as a writer first, so it probably won't be published until next month anyway. Would it be ok when it does publish for me to give you a link to it? Honestly, even without the boost, I would really appreciate if you'd look it over and tell me how I did. I've still been trying to learn from your writing (but with my voice and tones) to improve, and feel like this one... This one in particular seems a bit like I've leveled up in a way. I think.
Since it's not published yet, all I've got is the draft so I guess I'm just wondering if there will be another of these articles where you leave space for people to nominate articles in the future? Or if there's a place I can send you the link? If not, I understand- I feel a bit weird asking this, so it might be a strange thing to say to begin with. 😅
This whole comment just makes me smile. First, yes I will from time to time repeat the same and leave space for suggestions. But -- you can also send me the draft while you wait to hear back if you want feedback. If you still have the email from Substack, it's set up so if you reply, it will come to me. So feel welcome to email me the draft and I'd be happy to give it a read.
Funny little story. I was also an advice giver for a long time. Advice and history were the corners I lived in. When I wrote my first personal essay I was so nervous. And it wasn't very long ago. So I totally get that when our style morphs and grows as is inevitable, it leaves us a bit delicate. :)
I tried to reply in the email, and it said it didn't go through and told me to comment on the website. I can do a private message on one of your current stories on Medium- not sure if that's preferable, but it's an option. Or, you can email me at theaccidentalmonster@gmail.com- which might be less preferable, since then it exposes YOUR email. On the other hand, I've created a Discord I'm trying to get people to join that makes stuff like this waaay easier (but it's another platform entirely). 🤔
Just sent you an email :)
That's really nice that you do that. I haven't been writing on Medium lately. My last decent effort was probably back in Jan (not boosted and earned a whopping $14, lol--Can't live off that!). I've just been republishing my Substack blogs and magazine articles occasionally. If I see a great story I'll let you know!
Thanks, Kelly. I'm hoping you start to see a difference when the changes happen on Aug 1. Knock on wood for a lot of us!
I can't agree with you more - it does feel like we are drowning in advice - do this do that - one size fits all solutions - if it were so, life would be less complicated
Right? Lol. Good point, if the advice actually helped, life would be so much simpler.
Hi Linda, I hope you'll consider this post. It's so kind of you to do this for other writers. Thanks!
https://medium.com/illumination/why-eastern-spirituality-is-often-a-struggle-for-westerners-2d846177c793
Thanks Karen, I'll go have a read as soon as I'm done work for the day!
I look for stories over coffee as well (great minds think alike!), and while I have a handful of go-to authors, it always feels extra special to find someone new that rearranges my mind. Like, where have they been hiding?!
Sometimes I think if I got on the internet and pretended to be a guy, I'd be you. lol. I keep a list of new faces I find so I can go back and check their new work. At least a small handful of writers must be wondering who the hell keeps boosting their posts. lol. Me!
I love it! lol.
I've often wondered if people know who it is boosting their stories. I would assume they're curious?
The starfish story is good. I've seen it before. Nice application to boosting writers. My friend Jill Ebstein, whom I think you know, has appreciated having a couple of her stories boosted, most recently one about her mother. She greatly appreciated that. You may have done the selecting.
I have found Substack to be a great way to find new Medium writers. When people comment here, I go look to see if they're on Medium too. And you're right, I do know Jill. But I never tell who I nominate, because then it gets to be a surprise. :)
That's good advice - not to give advice, Linda. I think not giving advice is good advice for life, as well as writing. If someone wants advice and asks for it, I will share my experience that may relate and let them figure out if and how to apply it.
I saw a quote on a plaque outside our local library that said "I want to read a book where the main character falls in love with the reader." I thought to myself: Yes! that's the book/story I want to write. I think it happens when the writer falls in love with the main character (or the message of the story.) . . . I love your metaphor of "Rumpelstiltskin in reverse." It made me want to read your story, as did the title.
I love the starfish story. I’m tired of advice, too. If I want it, I’ll ask for it.
Right? Same.
You are always so uplifting AND inspirational. Thank you.
If only those bots could mimic same...but they will probably never be programmed to really feel empathy.
Thanks, Linda. First time I got boosted I was so excited, it's nice to be able to deliver that to other writers and let them wonder who it was, too.
"We’re drowning in advice."
Oh so true. Most of it crap. Fortunately for me my inner cynic rules more often than not.
Hi Linda. Thanks for more truth. Boost, no boost, just would love to hear what you think:
https://medium.com/@handymanwisdom/lets-have-a-cuppa-db55459a34fb
Put it out a few days ago but not sure what to do with it...I kind of liked it...
Thanks, Jim. I added it to my list to read after work this evening.
Thanks for this starfish article.
Hugs
You should google it. If you can find the original, it's very charming. :)