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Feb 2, 2024
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Linda Caroll's avatar

Thank you so much Sam, you are always so kind. :)

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David Perlmutter's avatar

You really should only go into lengthy or flowery descriptions of things if it helps the story, but that's really only something you CAN do in a story. A screenplay, for example, doesn't need them as much because you are using to make something (a film/TV show) rather than having it stand independently.

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Roman Newell's avatar

Keep that bus moving! Pace pace pace! Readers want to get somewhere and are so much smarter than writers give them credit for. We ought to allow the reader space to imagine. Reading is more fun when given clues and the room to put them together. Great write, Linda!

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Linda Caroll's avatar

Right? I love that thing King says about not replacing the reader's visualization with his own. And thanks for the bones of the story, you made it easy to write this one. :)

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Maurice Clive Bisby's avatar

And will you restack Suzanne, just as I do

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Marilyn Wolf's avatar

I try to do this. I want the reader to fill in some blanks from their own perception.

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Sterling Capricio's avatar

AWesome info...Thanks

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Yana Bostongirl's avatar

I am not a creative write so my posts get directly to the point - however I am noticing that some writers tend to say the same thing in ten diff ways - maybe to increase the reading time or a lack of editing skills? I also know some pubs prefer a good ramble with lots of flowers - somehow it is thought to be more "appealing' to readers🤷‍♀️

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Linda Caroll's avatar

I had to laugh at how you described it Yana - a good ramble with lots of flowers. lol. It's so true. If they took those and chopped them down to the essence of the story, they'd do so much better.

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Maurice Clive Bisby's avatar

As writers, we need to up out game, constantly. We ourselves grow when we offer tips to other writers. And also when we point to other writers, particularly those who would give us a better world. This is our duty, our beauty,.... why else are we here ? why else do I point to Suzanne Taylor's vision....

https://suzannetaylor.substack.com/an-essay-contest-january-1-2050

Are you up for this Linda ? I know you are well capable. Peace, Maurice

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Martin Edic's avatar

I like the bus analogy very much. One of the things I’ve learned from writing two unpublished novels was pacing, keeping things moving along and eliminating anything that distracts the reader from the thread you are following. When I wrote non-fiction how to books, description was not an issue in the same way. If you want to read description used to power a story, read Hemingway’s A Clean, Well Lighted Place, a two page story that uses description to tell a story.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

You know, Martin, I've never read that piece. I'm going to look it up. I agree that pacing plays out differently in non-fiction. That's a great point.

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Walter Rhein's avatar

Great article! I always find that it's to your benefit to switch a passage to dialogue. People enjoy reading dialogue, it makes you feel like you're eavesdropping. Internal dialogue is even better, that's like mindreading. If you can't say it in dialogue, you can probably cut it.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

For those who can write dialogue, that's a great tip Walter. You use economy of words in dialogue which makes it more powerful. Some people have yet to learn that skill.

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Roman Newell's avatar

Walter, great point here.

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Walter Rhein's avatar

Thanks Roman

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Kerry Kerr McAvoy's avatar

Powerful. Thank you. Reminds me of Brené Brown’s interview of Celeste Ng. Celeste described the cutting and layering each pass through her book, Little Fires Everywhere. Your article is another reminder that every word must bring the piece alive. Thanks for the introduction to Roman. Made of Leaves— wow!

I’m curious - what’s the average perplexity score you see on Medium? What importance do you place on Burstiness? I ran a piece of my memoir through GPTZero and was pleased my perplexity score was strong. My sentences are often too long. :/ Need to work on that.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

I read that the average perplexity score for ChatGPT is 43. Which means that's probably the average for people too, since that's what it was trained on. Might be slightly higher on Medium, especially with boosted pieces. I think Burstiness is probably a step behind perplexity, but not by much. I find throwing in a short one here and there alters that score well.

Glad you enjoyed Roman's writing. Me, too. He challenges me to up my game. lol

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Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

Another way to say it is you want to provide just enough info to allow reader to supply the rest automatically.

The picture in the reader's mind is always going to be more vivid than the detailed description you lay out for them.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

That is SO true Michelle. Well said.

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Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

Now, do I always do this well? THAT is the question!

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Linda Caroll's avatar

I am laughing. Same.

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Susan Wadds (Deepam)'s avatar

You can't argue with any of that. Unless you're a middle-aged, fluffy-haired woman with a medium-sized nose, slightly larger on one side, who wears a coat when it's hot and has a little white dog she walks every morning.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

I think I love you. Platonically, so you understand and don't feel weirded out. lol. That was awesome, Susan. And you know, it's also perfect. Because there's still room for me to add my own imagination. Are you on Medium? I'd love to read your writing if you are.

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Susan Wadds (Deepam)'s avatar

Awwww, not weirded out. I recommend you all the time 'cuz I love you too! You are so generous.

I'm not on Medium, but I am on Substack. https://substack.com/@susanwadds

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Linda Caroll's avatar

Done! I subscribed. And right in my inbox, so I don't even have to scowl at the feed. I look forward to getting to know you better. :)

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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

The story is the bus. Brilliant. Think I'll post that on my keyboard.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

Isn't it great Jan? I liked it too.

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C Gold's avatar

So much help--this article. Thanks for improving my writing, in advance.

You'd asked me a question I'd hoped to answer sooner! I am currently working on preparing to submit a manuscript evaluation, and have finished much of a book proposal for a memoir. I'm exploring various resources for editors, launches, book covers, if I don't go the agent route. Thanks for asking how it's going. Do you remember Cracker Jacks? It's sort of like eating through them to get to the prize at the bottom of the box.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

Oh you're so welcome. And I do remember Cracker Jacks. That's what my writing is like all the time. lol

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WomenWarriors's avatar

"Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s."

- That line is worth the price of admission.

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Marilyn Wolf's avatar

An excellent read, as always. Now I have to read Roman's.

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Accidental Monster's avatar

That's rich coming from Stephen King. I can't read his stuff because it's way too heavy on descriptions for my taste. The point you're making is sound, and you're fantastic at the art. But King? It doesn't hit the same to me for him to say that. He managed to get popular despite stopping the bus constantly to describe every last detail.

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Linda Caroll's avatar

I am laughing so hard. Yes, I find the same. I have wondered if the editor puts down the red pen once a writer becomes rich and famous.

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