Yoo-hoo, remember me?
We do so much backwards, don't we?
Hi and happy Friday…
Yesterday, I got an email from a guy I haven’t heard from for 19 years. When I saw his name in the from line, I opened his email first. Before the work emails, even before deleting the spam that made it past the filters.
Because hot damn. Jay? Omg, seriously?
Talk about a blast from the past. Seriously. 19 years ago. He used to run a forum I hung out at before blogs and sites like Medium were a thing. Which is kind of a confession of age, but whatever. lol
Nostalgia is real. I opened that email thinking — dude, how are you doing? What are you up to these days? Omg, Jay… long time!
Here’s the irony. Then I went to Medium and stumbled across one of those posts that said “No one cares, no one’s going to remember you, blah, blah.” It was a motivation nudge to get out there and promote yourself—or be invisible.
Button pushing at it’s finest.
We do so much backwards, don’t we?
You know how most people go through life? Like this…
Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay cosmetics once said we all go through life wearing a sign around our neck that says “make me feel important.”
I’m not sure important is the right word, but there’s something profound and real in her observation. I think “make me feel like I matter” might nail it.
We all just want to matter, don’t we?
Creatives are among the most longing people in the world. They don’t just want to matter — they want their work to matter. They want it so bad, it aches.
I think one of the most heartbreaking things in the world is the writer who never writes or publishes the book because she’s terrified it won’t matter.
No one will buy it.
No one will read it.
No one will care.
People who sell marketing books sure know which buttons to push.
Of course, 15 minutes of fame is not the same…
Have you seen the video that went viral this week? Some poor lawyer in Texas joined a court case in Zoom, but there was a cat filter on. When my daughter sent it to me, I laughed so hard… and then hit replay.
Best part was that on line. “I am not a cat.”
That one line is why it went viral.
It’s here if you haven’t seen it. Totally worth the watch.
15 minutes of fame isn’t the same as being remembered for your work. 20 years from now, he’ll just be that lawyer that got stuck behind a zoom filter. No one is remembering him for his work.
Having someone open your email with anticipation and a smile when they haven’t heard from you for a year or nineteen, that’s a different ballgame. You know?
Will they remember you?
I have a little hobby site that I’d totally abandoned when my Mom passed away. Just didn’t have what it took to keep emailing. A year later, I sent an email and said sorry I fell off the earth. I lost my Mom.
A freaking year, so I was kind of terrified when I hit send. Because we’ve all heard the warnings, right? You can’t revive a dead list. They’ll blacklist you. You’ll get shut down. You have to just delete the list and start over.
I did not delete the list. I crossed my fingers and emailed to say sorry.
People emailed back to say omg, good to hear from you. They did not hit the “spam” button and I didn’t get my list shut down. They remembered me.
I can’t tell you what a gift that was.
Connection. That’s all there is…
That guy with the “no one cares so you have to get out there and promote yourself” article?
I wanted to comment. Tell him he’s got it all backwards. But I didn’t because if there’s one thing I dislike it’s the opinion police and I have no desire to join that force.
Thing is, we’ve all known that person who talks about himself/herself incessantly.
Me, me, me, until you want to bloody stuff a sock in it.
We tolerate those people when we have to. When they’re our boss or our uncle or whatever. Most of us do not seek out those people. We’d rather avoid them.
I’ve never found intense self focus to be a good way to form a connection.
Seems to me it’s the exact opposite.
So if you’re a creative and you’re not out there talking about yourself incessantly, don’t feel like you need to be. Talking about yourself incessantly has never been the way to make connections that stand the test of time.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around. " —Leo Buscaglia
What I wrote this week…
If you enjoyed this, click the heart because it helps me know what you’re enjoying. Thanks and have a great weekend.
xo,
Linda
This is a great article - only now getting to it because the bottom fell out of my world. Email me and I'll explain: jeninebaines@gmail.com
I saw that lawyer cat clip on the news this week and laughed so hard I cried. It was priceless.