Happy Friday…
For the last week, I’ve amused myself by telling my client the temperature here. He lives where there’s no snow, ever. One day when he called, I told him it’s -40 here. He paused, then asked, “is that Celsius or Fahrenheit?” Yes, I replied, and we laughed
But, that’s normal here. I live in the frozen north, up in the Canadian prairies for gosh sakes. We’re used to -30 in winter.
Texas, not so much.
We are made of memories, you and me…
Once upon a time, my ex’s family all pitched in and bought a house down south so the grandparents could spend winter in the sun. A tiny bungalow, with a separate guest suite, so the kids and grandkids had a sunny vacation spot a flight sale away.
I have an old photo of me and my kiddo, frozen in time. She’s a toddler, and I’m holding her up as high as my arms reach. She’s laughing and plucking oranges from the tree in the backyard of that little old house. In rural Texas.
Never mind photos on the internet, that memory did me in this week. So much damage, I am lost for words. Heartbroken. People trying to stay warm in homes that don’t have central heat. All the citrus trees, frozen. Years of recovery ahead.
We are made of memories, you and me. Best I can figure, we all have memories that can help us identify with what someone else is experiencing if we care to.
You know the oyster story, right?
A grain of sand gets in the oyster’s shell, and it hurts. So the oyster makes a coating to ease the pain. Layer after layer, it becomes a pearl. But it’s not just oysters. We humans can do the same. Turn our pain into something beautiful.
It’s not as instinctive for us humans, I think. Sometimes we suffer in silence and don’t ever figure out how to turn pain into something beautiful because that involves being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there, which is way easier to say than do.
But, I’m preaching to the choir. Right brains and creatives know that better than almost anyone. How much art comes from pain? How many words and books and articles and stories have roots in our experiences?
You’re no stranger to that. Connecting with people, though, that’s the hard part.
Touch the heart and the head will follow…
It never works the other way around. We can’t get into someone’s heart through their head because we humans don’t make rational decisions. We like to think we do. But in truth, we decide with our heart and only justify with logic.
That’s the part marketers don’t like to talk about. Because honestly? They do great at button pushing in the short term, but so many of them don’t do so well at building human connections that stand the test of time.
It’s hard to connect with people that push your buttons. At least long term, anyway.
They’ll tell you it’s “normal” to get a single digit response rate, but it’s not. I mean, what’s the open rate when a friend emails you? 100%, right? Sooner or later, people respond to us based on how we treated them all along. You know?
When push comes to shove, all we have is each other.
That’s why human connection is all there is.
A small ask, pretty please?
Yesterday, Substack emailed to say they’ve updated how stats work. The email said if I log in, I’ll be able to see engagement with my writing. Curious, I logged in to see how it works, and it’s gold stars! Omg, that was fun.
Each reader gets up to 5 stars for engagement and it’s freaking brilliant. For a writer, it’s like a gift from heaven above. One look, and there’s the people who get the preview copy, all lit up with gold stars. lol. Food for thought, hey?
As I scrolled down the page, I saw gold stars as far as the eye could see. I had half a mind to just put a giant THANK YOU in size 72 font in lieu of a letter today.
Honestly, you made my day. But it also made me curious to know more about you. So I have a small ask, pretty please…
Would you share something?
Entirely up to you what you share. Your favorite post, or a link to your site. Or tell me what you’re working on, or your giant big dream. Share a funny memory or tell me how you’re doing in the middle of the crazy that is Covid.
Honestly, I just want to know a little more about you. Because we’re a little one sided. You know more about me than I know about you, and I’d like to know you better, too. What better way than sharing the things we care about?
:)
P.S. If you’ve emailed in the last couple of weeks and haven’t heard back, I’m so sorry. I’m dealing with a snarly issue that I can’t wait to write about, because it’s capital-U Ugly, but my email is so behind it’s not even funny. I’ll catch up as soon as I can, I promise. :)
There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.
― Jim Henson
More you might enjoy…
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Thanks and have a great weekend.
xo,
Linda
Hi, Linda! I've been in a writing slump. I have half a dozen stories unfinished and my newsletter is late. I'm also a little tired of shoveling snow. On the bright side, I'm not in Texas.
I loved your story about the oyster + pain + creating a pearl and a muscle around it. It was the perfect metaphor for how I've been feeling for a long time now. I did suffer for a long time, years, then got just what I wanted. Now I'm still - I guess making that pearl around the old pain. It's seeming to take too long. You know.
Here's what I started and trying to continue on with. A romance during the pandemic. I have my characters, good backstories, some plot points (even though I'm a pantser). It's stopped for now. I want it back, the juice for it.
I look for inspiration - that you always bring. Even saying it's -30 where you are cheered me up a little. It's 21 in Denver, so your news warmed me up! Thanks, Linda! And congratulations on your Gold Stars!!!