My Biggest Pet Peeve About Writing Online Has Nothing To Do With Writing
It has to do with people. Specifically, rude people.
Happy Friday,
Dumb little memory. Us kids were piled in the livingroom arguing about what to watch on tv on a Saturday afternoon. Mom was in the kitchen putting away groceries. As the arguing got louder, she walked in, hands on hips and asked if we can all just agree on something for a change. I rolled my eyes and said no, we can’t all just agree because we have different opinions. Duh.
Rolling my eyes and stating the obvious when my age was a single digit. So that hasn’t changed much. Except my age, of course.
You know what the real problem was? Manners. Or lack, thereof. Because that’s how siblings roll sometimes. One kid suggests Disney. Another kid whines they don’t want to watch Disney. Another kid is saying we need to take a vote you guys, let’s just vote, over and over on repeat and being totally ignored. Yeah, that was me.
A fourth sibling will put on stink face and say that’s stupid, you always have stupid ideas because you’re stupid. Stupid, stupid, stuuuupid. Stupid. The kid starts chanting stupid. Then it gets personal and from there it’s straight to hell in a handbasket.
Seems to me some people never grow out of that.
I promise you the kid who always whined still whines and the kid who made everything into a personal attack still does. And the kid who tried to logic her way through everything? Yeah. I still do. It still doesn’t work any better. lol
You know what sucks?
It sucks to wake up in the morning to rude comments.
An easy solution would be not to go to Medium in the morning. But morning is when writing and responding to comments fits into my day. My clients are in an entirely different time zone. Mornings are when I have free time.
No one needs (or wants) to wake up to rude.
When people sign up for my newsletter, my welcome email asks what they struggle with most regarding writing online. I get all sorts of answers. Finding time to write. Writing about everything and not being able to pick a niche. Being afraid to hit publish when the stories are personal. Not knowing where to find readers.
Tons of answers. I could spend all day telling you all the many different things people say is their greatest struggle writing online.
No one has ever said rude people.
That’s mine. Rude people are my biggest struggle with writing online.
There are morning when I wake up and say nope. Can’t do rude this morning. And then maybe I get to comments that day, maybe I don’t.
One of the top writers on Medium once confessed he’s never once clicked on his notifications and doesn’t read comments. Because he knows it will make it hard for him to write. So at least one person gets it.
I just don’t think that’s the solution.
Hell, I’m not sure there is a solution.
But I don’t think ignoring all the people who leave kind and conversational comments on my stories is a solution to people who are rude. I’ve had fascinating conversations in comments. I’ve made great friends through comments. I’m not going to let the odd rotten apple with bad manners and big ego ruin that.
And it is bad manners.
Essentially, that’s what rudeness is.
Utter lack of consideration for the person on the receiving end because “their” very important opinion is more important than how they make another human being feel. Some days I have trouble wrapping my head around that.
Don’t be rude. Take a breath. Count to ten. Reply like your boss is watching. None of those are hard concepts to wrap even the smallest mind around.
Attack the idea, not the person. You know? How hard is that?
But no. You should definitely be rude because someone on the internet said something you don’t personally agree with therefore that person is worthy of all the insults you can think of in the heat of the moment. Sigh.
So that’s my pet peeve. What’s yours?
On Medium…
Thanks for reading and have a great weekend. If you enjoyed my writing, scroll down just a wee bit and click the heart to let me know. ❤️
xo, Linda
I have a different approach....I kill the rud-ders (not a word) with kindness; that gets them each time. There's no rebuke, no bad feelings. And. I'm a better person for it. Because I made myself feel good. I rose above it...Whatever that IT means. Who knows how that person woke up that morning, or if they are in bed with long Covid and they use their miserable moment to lash out? It has nothing to do with you and all to do with them. There's nothing in your postings, ever, that should elicit rude responses. What has to do with you is how you choose to take it.
There is my speech for today. :))
Rude people ruin everything....