Happy Friday…
When my Mom was 72, she got a tattoo. We were walking through a fancy upscale home décor store when she pulled up her pant leg and showed me. A tiny rose on her ankle. She laughed when some stuffy old lady in a granny dress scowled at her.
Wow! lol. I asked what prompted that and she said she always wanted one but she was afraid of what people would think. One day she woke up and decided if she kept worrying about what other people think, she’s going to run out of time.
I was looking at her with eyes shining like I was five years old and she was my hero again and some days I miss her so much I don’t know how to bear it. We all run out of time. We just don’t get to know when.
What would you do if you had a year left to live?
That’s a dumb question self-help gurus ask. It’s supposed to light a fire under us at the very thought of perishing, as if we’re too dumb to know life ends.
Let me tell you... if I knew I had a year left to live, I wouldn’t be worried about finding my passion or better time management. I wouldn’t give a crap about saving for retirement or passive income streams or any of the things we have to do in a world that doesn’t care about old people being able to eat.
If I knew I had one year left to live, I’d spend every minute I could with the people I love. I’d travel clear across the country to bear-hug my baby brother and I’d be in my daughter’s face every minute she’d have me.
And I’d write. Until I fell asleep sitting up. Love letters, mostly, with crazy messages on the envelope like open this when you’re mad at me for dying and open this the first birthday after I’m gone and open this the first Christmas I’m not there.
Planning a life and ending a life are not the same thing.
But what if you had twenty good years left?
That’s a whole different question, isn’t it? What if you’re sitting in your garden on a beautiful summer day and God or the universe speaks to you and tells you loud and clear that you have twenty good years left.
You’d think a whole lot different, I think. Twenty years is long enough to really do something. But it’s short enough to realize your time is going to run out, too.
I imagine that’s where Mama’s head was when she got that tattoo.
Do it now, honey child, the clock is ticking.
Know who my heroes are?
Old ladies. Like those old Babas that live in radioactive houses in Chernobyl and don’t give two hoots that they’re not supposed to be there.
When the police show up in hazmat suits to say they shouldn’t be there because they’re going to die, they howl with laughter and go weed their gardens. Biggest veggies you ever saw. One of them told the cops radiation doesn’t scare her. Starving does.
A friend that works with seniors told me old men are easier to work with. They’re either grumpy or cheerful, but they’re mostly predictable once you get to know them.
The old ladies are a different story.
They’re the wild cards, she said, and I laughed.
I can see that. I can see why, too.
Society has a lot of expectation about how women are supposed to show up in the world. We’re supposed to be the nurturing ones. The ones who do the emotional labor. And for the most part, we do. Not all of us, but an awful lot of us.
Until time strips away the filters and leaves behind the gift of the attitude fairy that rides on the shoulder of women of a certain age, if you know what I mean.
A gift of attitude …
Today is my birthday and how cool that it falls on a day I get to write to you.
So I come bearing invisible gifts.
If you lean close, I’m going to sprinkle some attitude fairy dust on you. Because you’re probably a creative. Most of us are, in this group. And it seems to me creatives do a lot of worrying about what other people think. Especially writers. Omg!
Thing is, you probably have at least 20 real good years left. Maybe way more, but at least 20 for sure. And I wonder what you’d do with them if you really and truly didn’t care what anyone thought.
:)
“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” — Edgar Allan Poe
Read them all and make my day! :)
Rare Colorized Photos of Young Einstein, the Genius Born on Pi Day
If men really believed women were equal, they’d do more housework
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Thanks and have a great weekend.
xo,
Linda
Happy Birthday, Linda. May you enjoy many more.
Happy birthday!!!!