A New Way To Approach Notes?

Social media has always been my Achille's Heel but I came up a new approach and it's a little more effort but I'm going to try it and here's why

Ya’ll, I’m sharing a pet peeve because I don’t know but maybe you feel the same way.

Let’s start here. Social media has always been my Achille’s Heel.

I can’t think of a faster way to nosedive my mood than spending too long on social media. Sucks the energy right out of me. Sucks the marrow out of my bones. Mostly, I don’t use it. I’ve never had more than a dozen “friends” on Facebook. I set up LinkedIn and never used it. Not one post. I’ve never had a YouTube channel or an Instagram.

I used Twitter for a little while back when it was shiny and new and for real fun but as soon as the shouters and finger pointers showed up, that was me done.

It’s not just me. There’s a consumer report that says heavy social media use contributes to anxiety, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, and depression.

Y’all know social media is just people right?

In the very *very* beginning, Notes was fun. But as time goes by, it seems to feel more and more like the rest of social media. There’s political shouting. Finger pointing. And the hate notes. So much hate. Men suck. Women suck. Republicans suck. Democrats suck. Everyone sucks. Don’t post about this, don’t post about that, judgy McGee is coming for you. And also, the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Christ.

I read a note the other day about people who say they only follow writers who have small followings. It’s blunt, but killer.

Apparently some people say they only follow writers who have small followings. Which is utter nonsense because if you love someone’s work, you don’t stop loving their work if they build a following. If we did, there’d be no best sellers, ever. No one would know who Stephen King or Margaret Atwood are.

But you know what that is, right?

It’s performative.

People say nonsense like that because then all the people with teeny followings will like and heart and restack and voila — score! Lookit you getting all the hearts. Ugh.

It’s very tiresome.

That kind of behavior is why social media is my Achille’s Heel.

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Here’s the funny thing that occurs to me. Put me in a room with any one of those people and we’ll find some common ground. We’ll find something to talk about and laugh and share stories and bond. Because that’s what humans do.

But how we behave on social media? Is not always how we behave in a one to one scenario. The person who carries their real personality into social media is a rare person indeed. Because you know what we do, right? We see what gets clicks — and do more of that. Too often what gets clicks and attention is not good.

At worst, it’s hateful and at best it’s performative. Which is why social media causes anxiety and depression. Because there’s too much performative nonsense, rage bait, bragging and god knows what else to get the clicks, get likes, get attention. Which is why I avoid it like the plague and that didn’t always include Notes—until it did.

But you know who that hurts? Me.

Also? Anyone else who closes the window because they can’t anymore.

Because our people are out there too.

Dawned on me this morning that I haven’t been on Notes all week. And you know what I realized? That if you silence all the people who don’t play the attention seeking game, all you have left is the people who do. And it’s easy to say I don’t care. But I do care. Because my people are out there too. Your people are too. You know?

Whenever I bring up the topic, here’s what people say. BLOCK.

So I looked up how blocking actually works. Do you know how it actually works?

Let’s say Johnny McGrump posts negative crap all the time. Note after note that eats my brain. So I block him. Know what happens? He can’t see my notes or posts. He can’t subscribe to my Substack. That’s according to the Substack help file.

Which means block is great for someone who is harassing me. But if I want to stop seeing what negative Nellie posts? Hide and mute. That’s what we want. Not block.

When you hide and mute, the algorithm learns.

Here’s the blunt truth about algorithms. They don’t learn because they care what you like. They learn because in an attention economy everyone wants to suck your time. But if it lets me see more of what I enjoy and less of what I don’t? I’ll take it.

If it lets me find my people without getting burned out by the haters and judgers and negativity and rage bait and all the rest of the nonsense? I’ll take it.

So here’s my new approach to Notes.

Hide and mute.

As many times as it takes. Hide and mute.

You only follow people with a small following? Good. Mute.

You can’t stand people who write about (something)? Good. Mute.

You hate men or hate women or hate republicans or demoncrats? Good. Mute.

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Because here’s one more thing. Those people? They are not the majority.

They aren’t. They’re just loud and frequent. Here’s an example. Did you know 79% of Americans believe men and women are equal and should be treated as such? Believe men and women should earn the same, walk side by side through life. But you’d never know that by all the man-hating, women-hating posts. Those are the minority.

It’s that way everywhere. And they are so loud and so persistent they silence the majority. And I’m tired of it. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that if you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain about who won. You know?

So I’m voting. By silencing the voices I want less of. Hide and mute.

Closing the window is faster. Leaving is faster. It takes a couple of seconds every time to cast my vote. To click the dots, and select hide and mute. Over and over again.

But maybe it will send a message. Maybe not, maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part. But if those people start getting muted a whole bunch, maybe the algorithm will lean more towards genuine human connection than performative garbage.

I think it’s worth trying. What do you think?

“It is good people who make good places.”
― Anna Sewell, Black Beauty